About GotMeThinking.com
I started Got Me Thinking after my mom passed away. Not right away. My therapist mentioned the benefits of journaling and writing down my thoughts and feelings. I grew up wanting to be a journalist and/or writer. I even got a Bachelor's Degree cum laude in Communications.
But I never came to grips that I have serious social anxiety. I just thought I was shy and some day, magically, I would snap just out of it.
Well, fast forward to today. I was let go from the same restaurant job I had as a college student. It happened after I had a nervous breakdown in the parking lot of my doctor's office about six months after my mother died. Combined with being a general manager of a restaurant in the midst of the worst of the COVID pandemic – it was just too much for me, or any human being, to keep my sanity.
The company acted like they were understanding, but one day after my 12-week Family Leave expired, they mailed a termination letter to me after I told them I had a doctor's note saying I still was in no condition to return to work.
Let me just tell you – that did not help my depression.
I tried several medications and several therapists. After about four or five failed attempts, I finally found one who "got" me. Suzy is around my age and she was brought up in a Portuguese household, just like myself. She understood the culture I grew up in.
Suzy was the one who suggested I return to my roots. Since I had a lot of free time on my hands, I looked into how to make a website. I figured it was a lot of work, but what else did I have to do.
I was amazed at how easy it is to make a simple website. There are sites that do all the designing work for you. You just have to write. Perfect.
So exactly to the day of the second anniversary of my mother's death, I hit "publish" on my first article and this site was born.
I write about grief, but also about recovery. I write about mental illness—not in a clinical, textbook way, but in the way it actually feels when you’re in the midst of it.
I’ve had moments of strength and courage (or so people tell me) and moments where I didn't think it was worth going on. I know what it's like to feel like "something is off," and I’ve stopped pretending that it will just go away on its own.
It takes work. For some people – like me – it is engrained in our DNA.
You’ll find stories here about people we’ve lost—celebrities like Chester Bennington, Robin Williams, and Matthew Perry—who meant something to me because they were fighting the same battles as me. You’ll find memories from my childhood, thoughts about the way our society handles pain, and reflections on the everyday things that got me thinking.
This isn’t a self-help blog. I’m not here to give advice. I'm not a doctor or a therapist.
Everyone is different and grief and mental illness affects us all differently. There is no one-size-fits-all solution. There is no magic formula to follow that will guarantee recovery.
I’m here to say things out loud—because I've discovered that it's not healthy to keep things bottled up inside. Eventually, it (whatever "it" is) has to come out. We can either choose to release it ourselves or it will catapult out when we least expect it. We are all volcanoes waiting to erupt.
If you're grieving, struggling, or just searching for something real, I hope you can see you are not alone. Let's walk this journey together.
If anything you’ve read here resonated with you—even a sentence—consider subscribing. It doesn't cost anything!
Got Me Thinking isn’t just a blog to me. My goal is to have it be a community where we discuss things openly and with respect. I want people who are struggling to know that you are alone.
When you subscribe, you’re not just keeping up with new posts—you’re joining a quiet, honest community where it’s okay to speak your truth, express your feelings/your fears, or just sit with someone else’s.
If you or someone you know is struggling or having thoughts of suicide, help is available.
In the United States, you can call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline anytime.
If you're outside the U.S., please contact your local emergency number or visit www.iasp.info/crisis-centres to find support in your area.